happy (belated) birthday to me...

Yesterday I celebrated my 37th birthday.  Yay me!!!  I've always loved my birthday.  I'm like a big kid, running around letting everyone know that it's my day.  What's interesting is that, although I love telling everyone it's my birthday, I'm not always very comfortable with the attention it I get on my birthday.  Is that ironic?  When people ask me, "what do you want?"  I have a hard time answering.  Even when my mom asked me what I wanted for dinner and what kind of cake I wanted, I couldn't answer.  In my head I knew what I wanted but I couldn't say it.  Asking for what I want.  What a concept right?  I'm working through it.  It's one of those issues that seems to have many layers.  And I think I hit it yesterday when I told someone that it's hard for me to ask for what I want and that I think it's because somewhere inside, I don't think I deserve it.  It feels strange to even say that now.  In the past I can see how I felt that way, I was a different person then and didn't think I deserved much of anything positive.  I know better now.  But still, there is that tiny part of me that feels like what I want isn't important.  I'm open to working through that.  The best thing to do is to accept that it's there, whether I think it's a valid thought or not.  After I accept it, I can open myself to learning the lessons it's here to teach me.  I can trace that string back and see where it originated from and why I'm still attached to it.  I think it's also important for me to learn to identify what I want in a situation.  Do I even know what I want?  That's pretty important, identifying what you do and do not want.  For me, I need to step outside the emotion of it all for a moment and look at the truth of it.  Does it even make sense to feel this way about it?  I'm no longer a person that wishes to stay stuck in things because faith tells me I don't have to.  With the help of my higher power, I have worked through so many things and I embrace the opportunity to continue to do so.  It's ok to ask for what I want.  And I will take the necessary steps through figuring out how to do that.  I no longer wish to hold on to any false belief that will limit me because I know there is no limit.  The only limits people have are the ones we impose upon ourselves.  There is a liberation is that realization.  What false belief can you walk through and let go of today?