So I take one more step out of the shadows and into the light...

...where people can see me. Yikes!  Scary stuff!  Honestly, it's not as scary as it used to be for me, I'm learning how to be comfortable with it.  I feel like I came out of the intuitive, metaphysical, six sensory closet yesterday.  There are people who know about my spirituality, what I believe, all that kind of stuff but I haven't really gone in depth with it to my counselor.  That is, until yesterday.  It was interesting.  That's what she said.  For me, it was totally freeing and I left my talk with her feeling lighter.  As if I could almost fly.  I told her that psychology just isn't for me and that I'm not going to continue on to get my degree in it.  She was pretty surprised but hey, so was I when I realized it.  One of the things I love about myself is that I'm not content with what shows up on the surface of myself.  I'm not content with just realizing I don't want to go into Psychology, I dig deeper because, as far as I know and as far as experience tells me, it always goes deeper.  So I had this big conversation with myself yesterday...yes, I said myself.  Yes I talk to myself and yes sometimes I even answer but I'm okay with it.  So, as I was saying, I was talking to myself about this whole thing yesterday and it occurred to me that I picked a profession that was "socially acceptable" because I'm not totally comfortable with that intuitive part of me.  I am and I'm not.  I think the part that makes me uncomfortable is knowing what the stereotypes are.  Which surprises me because I'm not a girl who puts any stock in stereotypes or even cares all that much about what people think.  So what does that tell me, that it's not about what other people think, it's about what I think and believe.  That's the issue.  Same thing with my creativity.  I've allowed myself to get attached the the beliefs of some that say "artist's can't make money."  What a load of crap that is.  Vera Wang is an artist and look at her.  There are so many of them out there that make more than a decent living doing it.  And again, it's all about what I believe.  So more work needs to be done on those false beliefs and I'm so glad I realized that because my life is waiting for me to catch up to it.  So back to the socially acceptable career thing...it was as if I was thinking that if it was socially acceptable, that would add a certain validity to it.  That's a bunch of baloney and I know it.  Spirit does as well.  And so does the Universe.  Now it's true that I've realized that I hide behind my intellect at times and I've also realized that it's a cop out.  You won't see me behind my straight A's and all the "information" I've learned.  Ego is of the intellect so my ego decided to hold on for dear life because if I fully move in to six sensory living, my ego won't have much to do anymore and it'll get bored.  Oh well, it'll get over it.  I also realized that this whole school business has just been an effort for me to control things.  That was an "aha" moment for sure.  I didn't even realize I was doing that because I'm a very "go with the flow" kind of girl.  Love learning things about myself because it gives me an opportunity to change those things that no longer serve me and grow.  Love growth.  I'm rambling now but the jist of it all is that I don't belong in the world of intellect and science, it's just not who I am.  I belong in the realm of spirit and intuition and peace and love.  My soul has known that this whole time and has been waiting for me to catch up to it.  I've been getting signs all along but I didn't have by glasses on so I couldn't really read them.  Either that or I'm just slow sometimes.  It's a process.  A beautiful brilliant process.  I'm no longer willing to deny who I am and who my soul needs to be.  No longer willing to hide in the fear of the shadows afraid that people see me. I spent far too long in the darkness, and have worked far too hard to get to where I am to allow behavior like that from myself.  It's no longer acceptable to be "socially acceptable."  I'm sure I'll face resistance, I've already felt it from some.  But honestly, if people don't like who I am, they can call their sponsor.  Or some else who cares about their opinion about it.  I just know that's not me.  We're all hear to share our unique gifts and talents with the world and that includes me.  This is who I was created by the Universe to be, who am I to dispute that?  And why would I?  When you align with your purpose, it works out and things flow and the Universe supports you.  I've experienced it.  So onward I forge on this path I'm creating for myself.  Pulling weeds, stepping over branches, occasionally tripping (I'm not the most graceful creature) but I know I will always wind up exactly where I'm supposed to be.  And I will enjoy every step of the journey, dancing, skipping and singing all the way...