happy (belated) birthday to me...

Yesterday I celebrated my 37th birthday.  Yay me!!!  I've always loved my birthday.  I'm like a big kid, running around letting everyone know that it's my day.  What's interesting is that, although I love telling everyone it's my birthday, I'm not always very comfortable with the attention it I get on my birthday.  Is that ironic?  When people ask me, "what do you want?"  I have a hard time answering.  Even when my mom asked me what I wanted for dinner and what kind of cake I wanted, I couldn't answer.  In my head I knew what I wanted but I couldn't say it.  Asking for what I want.  What a concept right?  I'm working through it.  It's one of those issues that seems to have many layers.  And I think I hit it yesterday when I told someone that it's hard for me to ask for what I want and that I think it's because somewhere inside, I don't think I deserve it.  It feels strange to even say that now.  In the past I can see how I felt that way, I was a different person then and didn't think I deserved much of anything positive.  I know better now.  But still, there is that tiny part of me that feels like what I want isn't important.  I'm open to working through that.  The best thing to do is to accept that it's there, whether I think it's a valid thought or not.  After I accept it, I can open myself to learning the lessons it's here to teach me.  I can trace that string back and see where it originated from and why I'm still attached to it.  I think it's also important for me to learn to identify what I want in a situation.  Do I even know what I want?  That's pretty important, identifying what you do and do not want.  For me, I need to step outside the emotion of it all for a moment and look at the truth of it.  Does it even make sense to feel this way about it?  I'm no longer a person that wishes to stay stuck in things because faith tells me I don't have to.  With the help of my higher power, I have worked through so many things and I embrace the opportunity to continue to do so.  It's ok to ask for what I want.  And I will take the necessary steps through figuring out how to do that.  I no longer wish to hold on to any false belief that will limit me because I know there is no limit.  The only limits people have are the ones we impose upon ourselves.  There is a liberation is that realization.  What false belief can you walk through and let go of today?

There is beauty in the breath of this moment...

There is beauty in the breath of this moment,
How often are we truly here?
Right here,
Lost in the stillness
Bathed in the silence,
Beyond the racing thoughts of yesterday
And the worries of tomorrow.
Right here,
In this very second
Where the energy of life
Is pumping through our bodies,
Lighting up our Spirits
In every living thing are we
As we are in every living thing.
Not separate,
But intricately woven
From the same Spiritual fabric.
Right here
In this moment
In this breath
Where beauty lies.
-Tia C. Wahl